


I Am No One

by UniquelyMyOwn



Series: I Am No One [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, BAMF Finn, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Minor Character Death, Oblivious Finn (Star Wars), Oblivious Poe Dameron, Pining, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-05-29 14:03:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6378982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniquelyMyOwn/pseuds/UniquelyMyOwn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been over a year since he ditched the First Order for the Resistance, and Finn could honestly say that he's never once looked back. For that year he felt he could fight in a cause he believed in and with people who believed in him. He was somebody, not a thing, not a number. He had an identity and Finn took to it like  Rey to the Force.  He was moving on from that darkness in his past. However; the darkness wasn't finished with him...<br/>Betrayed by a comrade; Finn will do whatever it takes to come home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I am Finn

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This story was originally posted on FF.net and I'm pretty excited to be here and see where this story takes you as the reader. Also, please heed the tags I have posted. This is nitty-gritty in various parts of the chapters and if you're really squeamish then perhaps this is not for you. I do not go overtly into detail about torture but the violence is to be expected especially during war time. There is death but not main character death. So no worries on that part! ;) Otherwise, sit back and enjoy. 
> 
> Also, I don't have a beta so all mistakes are my own and I apologize.

****

Chapter 1: I am Finn 

Objectively speaking, Finn could believe the reasons why the First Order has labeled him most wanted enemy (dead or alive) number four. He absconded with the enemy, gave vital information that the Resistance used without preamble, and (more importantly) he's a blow to their galaxy-sized pride. The first Storm Trooper to stand up and say: No, and actually live. Personally, he couldn't believe that his former colleagues would even think much about him other than an expandable loss. Really, he didn't do much for the First Order when he was Storm Trooper, then again, not doing and observing were two separate things as General Organa pointed out during numerous meetings. Still, waste management was hardly what came to anyone's mind when they think: Storm Trooper.  
Keeping a cool head, Finn opened his eyes to see an unsurprising sight. He was strapped down to the same torture device he had saved Poe from over a year ago. There was no use testing the bindings for give so Finn moved on, taking stock of the otherwise dark and barren room. Storm Troopers were stationed at the open door, their backs to him, neither of which were holding a blaster, their posture that of boredom by the slight curve in their shoulders. He wasn't sure if he should be irked at their lackadaisical attitude or...no, yup, he was definitely irked. Just because he was bound, bloodied and weaponless, didn't mean he would be down for long...well, he hoped anyway.  
Watching them shift their weight from foot to foot every few minutes would've driven a normal person insane from boredom but not Finn. That little movement was a big enough tell for him to gauge his enemy. If there was one thing Finn was knowledgeable about, it was reading someone by the way they held themselves. And those two were equal parts bored and irritated at guard duty, because who wouldn't be? Finn was as good as useless in their eyes.  
Overconfidence.  
The First Order had plenty of that and Finn was used to being underestimated. He just needed to wait and plan, play his cards right as Poe would say. Still,to pass the time, he tested the restraints.  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
A fist slammed onto the desk, causing several papers and pens to shift and roll off.  
"What do you mean 'you lost contact'?" Poe gritted his teeth, "It was just a stupid recon mission off the Gamma Delta quadrant!" Running a hand through his hair, he emphasized: "The gamma delta quadrant General!"  
Looking stern, General Leia gathered everything back into neat piles before responding, "We had intel that there was a possible base set on Wendaar's moon. Since Finn is good at reading First Order movements and breaking into their systems, we figured it would be best to send him-"  
"Without back up! Force, I could've gone with him!"  
"It's hard enough to get in one operative on that moon Commander, and if there was a base, it would be difficult to keep more than one small vessel off their radars. The gravity is ten times than what it is here, this was a low-risk assignment. To our knowledge, the First Order didn't have the sufficient technology to combat the gravity and dense atmospheric issue." Leia then turned on the nearest hologram and pointed towards a blinking dot, "Our information was wrong, they were waiting for Finn before he entered the moon's gravitational pull."  
Cursing, Poe's heart clenched as numerous possibilities swarmed his mind, "Why him?"  
"I don't know, Commander, but something reeks of this mission being leaked."  
"We have a mole?"  
"Possibly. Another possibility is that the First Order got lucky and discovered him."  
"How likely is that?"  
Ignoring that question, she continued on, "There have been recent reports stating that the First Order is targeting specific people." General Organa handed him a holo disc, "They don't have the force within them, but they were abducted from their homes by trained bounty hunters hired by those bastards. Some are saying that Finn was the last person they needed to round up." Watching Poe with a calculating gaze she echoed a conversation one of her officers had with her earlier, "Some say Finn went willingly."  
Poe clenched his fist, his back rigid and his eyes flashing with fiery determination, "Finn isn't one of them. Not even when he was a Storm Trooper was he their lap dog! He would fight tooth and nail for the Resistance General!" Poe wasn't sure when he stood from his seat or that he was pacing until he turned to face her. Speaking with a calmness that he didn't feel, Poe looked down at the disk, "We will find him and bring him home."  
"Then what are you waiting for Dameron?" Leia stood up and gestured behind him. Poe turned around and smirked, several high ranking officers were before him, looking just as determined as he was in getting back their fellow comrade. "Go through the files and prove Finn's innocence and help track down his possible whereabouts. You're all dismissed."  
-=-  
"Who are you?" Came Kylo Ren's deep voice.  
The beaten, bloody man with one eye swollen shut glared as best he could at the dark figure, "I'm Finn of the Resistance."  
"Wrong" Finn didn't flinch, too used to the pain, as Kylo cut off his airways using the force, "You are no one." He hissed, "And you will tell us everything."  
"Wrong" Finn sneered back in a choked whisper, "You are no one, Ben, and I will tell you nothing." He gasped as the force choke hold was lifted. His head lolled to the side of the chair, unable to hold it up between the pain and whatever the hell they were injecting in him. Despite the fuzziness, Finn smirked at the irritated man, he had tried to break into his mind but out of sheer stubbornness and Rey's teachings, Kylo Ren was only able to scratch the surface and gleaned nothing important from the former Storm Trooper's mind.  
Kylo Ren's frustration was palatable, causing the air to charge with a suffocating energy remnant of a planet with continuous lightning storms he had trained on as a child of the First Order. If he was lucky, Kylo would strike him down and end all of this but Finn's gut clenched knowing that his death was never on today's agenda. Something a bit more sinister was in store for him.  
Wearily he watched as Kylo's mood shifted to his smug arrogance and Finn's fuzzy head was trying to keep up with the bastard as he talked.  
"My master is coming to this ship in a few days, he will break you." Kylo sneered, "You were trained adequately against me but against him, you will stand no chance scum." Turning sharply, Kylo Ren left the room, leaving Finn to stew over his situation.  
Finn's stomach twisted as the face of the Sith Lord came to mind, how was he important enough to have a scary villain as Kylo's master paying him attention? What was their end game? Yeah Resistance secrets, but Finn had faith that Leia was taking the necessary precautions in the wake of his abduction. The most they can ferret out from him would be dated information and by the time they get to the main base, it would be long deserted.  
Still, Finn was terrified of the Sith Lord. Rumors were abound in the barracks growing up and the nightmarish stories were often understatements of that man's power and utter lack of compassion. He knew that his fate, whatever that may be, would be sealed come the arrival of that evil man, and Finn feared that his fate was not that of death. After all, re-conditioning was still practiced, but unlike those chambers that mimicked the Dark side's powers, having a true manipulator of the Force would be more-so effective that Finn feared he couldn't overcome it.  
Shaking his head Finn decided that now was the time to escape. Glancing up at the two unawares Storm Troopers, Finn used his blood-covered wrists to slowly work his hands free, ignoring the sharp pain of his thumbs being broken after a harsh, downward jerk. The sickening pop seemed to echo the room but the Storm Troopers were far enough away that they didn't hear it. Determination and stubbornness swelled in him as he went about executing his escape that was brewing silently in his head for the past week of captivity.  
He was Finn of the Resistance, he chanted in his head as he loosened up the rest of the bindings, and he will be damned if he didn't give as good as he got.  
-=-=-=-=-=-


	2. I Am My Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn is a lot more resourceful than the enemy assumes. His desire to get back home is his driving force, but will that be enough to escape the First Order this time around?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 

Chapter Two: I Am My Past

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Poe sighed as he collapsed in a naked heap on his cot, too damn tired to dry off from the showers.

The resistance moved bases and changed communications in the wake of Finn's absence, a precaution that Leia often takes after a high-ranking officer gets captured by First Order assholes. A precaution that Poe hated with a fiery passion, but kept his thoughts to himself. Finn would never betray them and he was far more stubborn than Poe was when he had his time being tortured. There was no way they would break him.

Watching the shadows dance on the ceiling by the lone candlelight in his room, Poe mused over the past week and the files General Organa had given him. The only link to the three other people abducted were that they are geniuses in their field. Arlan T'mon, a Khommite, was a retired sniper of the Rebel Alliance who settled down with his human wife and thirty offspring. He was the best in the entire galaxy, he could calculate complex physics and mathematical algorithms as quickly and easily as Poe could route his way home. Rurok of House Yoruq was a beast of a man who could kill a group of soldiers in a singular move. He was efficient and never expanded needless energy, but he never chose a side, preferring to live in solitude. Finally there was Terran Warfield, a master technologist whose planet, on the outskirts of the Honsnian system, was turned into a perpetual arctic tundra by the First Order when their sun and most of the planets were destroyed by their Star Killer. She was the last of her people per the records; being away on a solo mission her planet deemed necessary to bolster their technological advances.

Then there was Finn. Finn was not on the same level of intellect as those three but he had charisma, a keen eye and above all else, he was a master tactician. A squandered man the First Order regretted labeling as unimportant cannon fodder. All four had reasons to despise the First Order and only one of whom that associated himself with the Resistance.

Sighing, Poe grabbed a sheet and pulled it over his chest. Turning on his side, he watched the flame flicker as his soft breaths forced it to bend and twist away. His gaze wandered to the opposite wall, were a lone cot, neatly made, lay.

His heart simultaneously clenched and sped as he thought about the previous occupant. The fierce man whom he named, the innocent storm trooper who easily busted down Poe's barriers and made him fall in love with his passion for life. He knew he was a goner when he saw Finn wearing his jacket on the tarmac and beaming that cheeky smile. Every day since, only made his heart grow fonder and Poe did nothing to quell the foreign feeling from expanding.

Why would he want to stop it?

Seeing Finn grow into himself and form his own ideas and identity was nothing short of awe-inspiring. He went about life with a thirst to do and be better and was unafraid of making mistakes along the way. That courage he had, along with his positive attitude endeared him to many.

Poe knew this was a great man in the making. He knew he was lucky to be Finn's close friend, but damn his heart for desiring more. Many a night, Poe would tell himself that tomorrow would be the day he'll tell his buddy that he wanted more from their relationship, that what he felt couldn't be labeled as just friendship.

Tomorrow never came.

He had ample opportunities to tell Finn of his growing fondness for him, instead, he always fell back on calling him buddy and pulling back from what-could've-been-a-kiss and turning it into a hug. Force damn him and his spinelessness! What he wouldn't give to tell Finn that he loved him and hold him in his arms. To tell him just how truly important he was, because Poe could read Finn like a book by now and knew that was his biggest insecurity. Finn always wanted to be an individual but to feel like he belonged and was accepted by his peers. However; with most of his life being nothing but the First Order, he often found himself at a loss when a pop-culture reference was made or having a hard time understanding a request versus an order. Poe was a patient man who was smitten and had no problem explaining everything to Finn whenever he asked. In fact, nobody complained about his questions and often times would find themselves spending hours explaining why he should watch this holovid to appreciate this quote or showing Finn how to play a simple children's game that was lost to current events but still brought out the inner child in whomever participated.

It was truly a shame that Finn couldn't see just how amazing he was.

His absence was felt throughout the base and most commanding officers commented on how lifeless it has been recently. Finn, unknowingly to all, was a shinning beacon of hope and a constant reminder that what they fought for mattered, and was worth fighting tooth and nail for. That nothing was ever impossible if you were willing to take the risk.

If only he were a fly on the wall to witness just how important he became not only to Poe, but to the Resistance as well.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

He forgot how constricting a storm trooper outfit was. His field of vision was limited, forget his peripherals, and the standard-issued gun was disproportionately balanced. It was no wonder that the average accuracy rating of a trooper was less than sixty-three percent. However, now was not the time to dwell on the constant realization of how little the First Order cared about their peons.

Finn kept step with a group of storm troopers, bringing up the rear as they passed several high-ranking officials and through hallways littered with doors closed off and labeled in capitalized red as restricted. He waited a few more turns before Finn broke rank and quickly followed a black-clad officer into a promising room filled with computer consoles.

Luckily it was just him and the lieutenant whom he easily knocked out.

Taking off his helmet, Finn took stock of this room and smiled. He hit it at the right time during minimal shift hours, but he wasn't sure exactly when that shift would end. The First Order always operated on a staggered schedule with shift rotations changing on a bi-monthly basis. Even with that knowledge, Finn was unaware of how far-along the shift was and the room could soon fill with qualified, armed personnel.

With urgency, he took to the nearest console and began putting his decent hacking skills to the test. After fifteen minutes, Finn was in the system and pulling any information he could from the data banks and sending out a low-frequency transmission that he is hoping, gets picked up by a Resistance coder. Noting the time, Finn stood and dragged the unconscious man under an outdated console and relieved him of his key card and low-level clearance codes meant only for limited doors and, to his surprise, the cargo bay.

Immediately he thought of Poe and his heart-warming smile as they escaped in a similar fashion, and for a brief moment, Finn smiled. That wonderful man who luckily had no idea how enamored Finn was of him. His smile faded as he remembered where he was and that he intended to get back to Poe and the Resistance ASAP.

Putting on his helmet, Finn once again fell into the familiar persona of a storm trooper, and walked right out of the room with a single-minded intention of stowing away on a cargo ship that is to depart within the next forty minutes.

He became acutely aware, within seconds, of someone following him.

Keeping his cool, he played the unaware trooper for some time, noting that the person following him kept a safe enough distance that the reflective walls in no way helped identify whomever they were. On a peculiar note, the suspicious stalker had not sounded the alarm which violated code P-03KY7: If you suspect a person among you is not who they claim they are; you are obligated to alert your commanding officer and sound the red alert.

So not a storm trooper, more likely a bounty hunter or an 'outsourced person of questionable morals' as Jess would say. Keeping in mind not to alert the stalker of his intended destination, Finn took another route that found him passing through the sanitation station. On familiar ground, Finn lifted up a can of trash and began methodically separating it into various compressors. Having enough time to put his blaster in the metallic can, he went about the trash disposal with an air of a bored trooper (or so he really, really hoped).

The stalker stopped at the only entrance and exit. Finn fought the urge to alert the person that he knew of their presence and cursed Hux in his head for the thrice-dammed helmet with no peripheral visibility.

"Interesting" The monotonous voice spoke over the humming of machines, "That a waste disposal trooper such as you would have enough clearance to be in the coding center."

At this point, Finn looked up, freezing as he took stock of an older looking Khommite. He wore tight fitting black clothes, a nasty looking phaser riffle strapped to his belt and a small metal band with the First Order emblem around his neck. His posture was poised, watching Finn like he was prey and Finn found himself pretty off-balance.

Now was a horrible time for his brain to remind him that he was a crap liar.

"I was asked by Lieutenant Mohby to clear away the trash, Sir."

"Interesting how you didn't leave with any trash."

"I only follow orders Sir, there was no trash for me to clean as the previous sanitation crew already came by and failed to report it to the Lieutenant."

The man stalked closer, Finn noting the lack of noise in his movements.

Killer. His mind supplied, assassin, he further assessed by the movements.

The realization that he'd been compromised flashed in his mind as fast as he pulled his own gun out from the trash bin, threw off his helmet for better visibility, and fired with precision at the man's torso. The assassin's gun was not yet firmly griped and consequently, clanked to the floor as the impact of the blast hit the male dead-on.

Luck must've been favoring him, as the man was blasted in a nearby compactor that wasn't functional but still deep enough that the Khommite would need to climb. Taking advantage of the moment, Finn ran to the door and put in the lock down code he had acquired from before. He completely took this section off the grid, electricity and alternative power sources were re-routed elsewhere and the sign: under construction was projected onto the door. Once the Khommite climbed out, he would be hard pressed in finding an alternative route or means of communication and hopefully; by the time the assassin escaped the room, Finn would be long gone.

Cursing, he realized his helmet was left behind and Finn gritted his teeth. He had less than ten minutes to escape and with no helmet to blend in, Finn would be as good as had by the time Alpha shift woke up and took to their duties.

What was once a very well planned and executed escape, is now turning into a disaster. Though Finn excelled in thinking on his feet, this seemed vastly more different than all other missions he's been on. No back up, no friends, nothing to fall back on.

Now was not the time for sloppiness, though his fight or flight instincts were kicking it into overdrive and demanding a rash rush towards freedom. He would not give into panic; he can and will do this.

Finn took a deep, steadying breath. He could make it if went through the ventilation units. Glancing up, he grimaced.

He hated the vents.  
-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> So things are getting interesting. Finn is a complete BAMF and I like writing him that way. So this entire story will focus on just how important his character is. I find a lot of people who watched the movie dismiss him and label him an unimportant side piece which I completely disagree so here I am writing. :)
> 
> I do not care for how I'm writing Poe and re-wrote his part a dozen times and I still do not like it. I got the point across regarding his relationship with Finn but I feel there is something missing but I can't put my finger on it. Finn is a bit more agreeable when it comes to character development...
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading and will see you soon!


	3. I Am Not Giving Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snoke is a man of power and this power is not derived from overwhelming his enemy with it, no, he's far more than just that. Snoke is a manipulative S.O.B who knows how to get his way without someone realizing he has accomplished it until it's too late. He plays people well, but Finn may well prove to Supreme Leader Snoke that he's never one to let others dictate his life. Or he sure as hell will die trying.
> 
> Warnings: cursing, violence, death and other such things. Not for the very squeamish.

* * *

 

Well frack it all. Finn fell to his knees with a resounding crack that echoed the cargo bay. It had all been a set up. Finn bitterly glared up at the cold face of the galaxy's most feared person: Supreme Leader Snoke. A cruel, twisted smile covered his face as he approached, his long, spindly fingers held out before him ready for another lightning barrage should Finn choose to stand again after the fourth order to kneel. Finn hated kneeling but his body was shaking from the electrical torrents and his legs refused to cooperate. His arms were quivering with the amount of energy to hold him up but he refused to collapse in front of that monster.

"You are quite something Finn." He acknowledged, content in knowing Finn lacked the strength to do much else, he lowered his arms to his side as he stopped a few feet from him. "You bested my assassin and out-maneuvered my monk."

That was a monk? Finn frowned as he thought back to the second man he encountered just outside the cargo bay. He was fast and Finn knew of him from reports ages ago. He was a recluse, peaceful but forceful when need be. That man took out an entire squadron of Storm Troopers and Finn knew he had no chance taking him on. So, Finn did what he did best, he planned and was able to get the monk in a decontamination chamber and locked him in.

Really, it was a stroke of dumb luck than anything else.

Still, how could the First Order gain such an ally as the monk? If he remembered correctly, the monk became reclusive because his entire village and family were slaughtered. All because he said no. No never went over well in the First Order. Case in point: the man just a few feet from him.

In all honesty, Finn was terrified. This Sith Lord had immeasurable power, he has killed millions of people without a second thought, and gruesomely murdered political figureheads who dared oppose him. All that power and all that focus being directed at him did not bode well. His death, if that is what Snoke wanted, would be as slow and painful as a drought in the Ganaran system. However; Finn didn't think his death was on that sick man's agenda.

The bastard was curious, not mad. He _wanted_ to see what Finn could do, _wanted_ Finn to believe he was seconds away to going home. Finn was played and that left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"It's astounding how you were overlooked. With your record, you could've done more than waste disposal. Good thing you're back where you belong."

Chills ran down his spine. Back where he belonged? Unbidden Poe's face came to mind and Rey's tinkling laughter echoed. That, _that_ was home, _that_ was belonging. The sterile militaristic atmosphere which was the First Order while growing up never felt like warmth and acceptance. Never once did Finn feel like he belonged in the ranks of the First order. Every day was just routine, there was no life in these halls. There were no pranks like Pava would do to Frank and Snap, there were no open displays of camaraderie like Poe hugging him after a successful raid, no comfort in the time of loss like Rey's silent hand-holding. There was no humanity, period. Just numbers and expandable losses within the ranks. Dissent was met with recommissioning or suicide missions. No one questioned the disappearance of a comrade or their sudden change in demeanor.

They were just another cog in the murdering machine.

Nothing more, nothing less.

"No, I'm not" Finn knew at least twenty troopers had their guns pointed at him but he could careless. He was angry. "Where I belong is not here as a mindless peon, I'm not your cannon fodder, I am Finn of the Resistance."

A knowing look crossed Snoke's face. Finn felt like he was a little child who spouted something outrageous and Snoke was the sensible adult placating him. It rankled something fierce in Finn but he reigned in his anger enough to hear his smooth voice;

"A challenge. Yes, Kylo did mention how hard it was to crack your mind but rest assured Finn of the Resistance" the last four words taking a mocking lilt as Snoke closed the three foot gap, and raised Finn from the ground to look at him dead in the eyes, "You will be mine by the time I'm through with you."

Keeping eye contact, he glared "I am no ones property." Finn spoke with much bravado, quelling the little voice in his head that whispered doubts and turned his boiling blood to ice. He will never give up, he'd rather die.

 

* * *

A month.

Since then, they were able to find the mole and execute him for his crimes, but he gave no useful information on the possible whereabouts of Finn or the new First Order base. He only confirmed that Finn was their target.

Poe cursed as a wire he was fixing sent a little shock up his fingers. Standing up from his opened cockpit he took a moment to look around the tarmac. Everyone was done with their flight-simulations, flybys and refueling. He was the lone man in the middle of the afternoon, working through 110 degree heat.

"You gotta take a break." Jessika Pava, his wing-man and best friend, yelled from below, waving a water bottle. "Finn would kick your ass if he knew you were doing this without keeping yourself hydrated!"

Climbing down, Poe grabbed the water bottle and chugged until nothing was left. "Any news?"

Jessika shrugged her shoulders as they made their way into some shade, "The transmission we intercepted three days ago reeks of Finn and has helped us tremendously. I'm going to fly by a planet that was mentioned in the recordings, taking Frank with me."

"What about triangulating where the message was sent."

"That's a little more tricky, the General has her best men working on it." Watching Poe, Jessika wiped the sweat off her brow, "Are you sure taking yourself off that mission was wise?"

"I told the General my reasons."

Jessika and Poe have been doing this dance for a little over two weeks now. Poe evading Jess' concerns while Jess became more relentless in making Poe realize that loving someone was not a weakness and it was something he deserved.

Boys are idiots, she silently concluded. 

"You love him-"

"Don't Jess-"

"No. Poe Dameron you will shut up and listen." Jess jabbed her pointer finger in the center of his chest, forcing Poe to take a step back. "You love that bastard and he loves you, everyone has known it, you two are just the biggest idiots this side of the galaxy. But giving up...Giving up is never an option for Finn nor should it be for you. Finn will come back, the First Order doesn't want him dead which should be good enough for now. Stop your damned brooding and contribute to his rescue!"

"Rescue?"

"Yeah you moron, me and Frank are scouting a possible outpost and if things go right, Finn could be there."

"Why didn't you say anything?!" Poe shouted.

Arms akimbo, Jessika glared, "Because you took yourself off the damned mission."

 

* * *

_I am Finn._

The man's first conscious thought kept ringing in his ears. His body was on fire, layers of blood were congealing under his hanging body but that never bothered him. The stench on the other hand was horrendous. Straining his head, he looked at the empty chains across from him. A woman once hung there; she couldn't remember her name but held fast onto the belief that the First Order was scum. She lasted a few sessions with Snoke before she broke, believing in the lies he wove and turned her hatred of the Order towards the Resistance. He found her weak points and exploited them for the Order's gains.

Finn tried encouraging her to remember but it was no use. She was mostly broken before he was trussed up in this room to begin with. Overcome with a sickened feeling, Finn couldn't help but wonder if that's how he'll end up:

_Just. Like. Her._

Snoke hadn't done anything to him yet which made Finn a constant ball of tension. In fact, Finn was sure that Snoke wanted him to see the woman break, to illustrate his fate in clear, vivid detail. The message was poignant: you'll end up just like her no matter how hard you struggle.

So far, all he's done was be part of a training exercise for young Storm Troopers in the art of torture. Now, knowing better, Finn was horrified at the extent the First Order went into creating the ultimate loyal, soulless machines and he wondered (not for the first time) how he came out as whole as he did.

He went through what they did and then some.

The door to the darkened room opened, forcing Finn to shut his eyes until the door closed. The air felt heavier, more oppressed than before and he didn't need to open his eyes to know who the monster was that lurked in the shadows. Wanting to put on a front of bravery, Finn tried to relax his posture but found himself unable as the monster drew nearer. He became hyper-aware of the monster's movements, for a while, he just stood there perhaps hoping Finn would yell or beg under the weight of the oppressive silence. Finn was better trained than that, the First Order sought to make perfect soldiers and that included overcoming interrogation.

An image of a mutilated corpse flashed before his eyes, just outside his strongly built mental walls, and for a second, Finn swore he smelt the stench of burnt flesh and decay. What took his breath away was the realization that the corpse bore a horrifying resemblance to the man he desperately wanted to get back to. 

Snapping his eyes open, he bit back a gasp as Snoke's cruel eyes caught his before he raked over Finn's body like a lab experiment.

"I can feel your fear."

Finn attempted to focus on his breathing as the man made a few circles around him. "It's intoxicating with the undercurrent of anger and determination. A great recipe if you had the force within you. You would've been an excellent pupil for the dark side."

He was trying to psyche him out, get in his head and weaken his defenses before he begins using the force to probe him. Finn would be damned if he made it that easy.

"Ah, there it is." Snoke praised mockingly, "Against all else, that sheer willpower of yours makes an inconvenient appearance."

Feeling the tell-tale probing on his subconscious, Finn reinforced his mental wall, focusing all he had into strengthening it. With Kylo, it was easier to resist. He was clumsy and lacked any patience in finding weak points. Snoke, however; was far more crafty and seemed to have all the time in the world as he lazily tested Finn's mental barrier.

A tell-tale click-clack echoed the room and Finn's breath caught in his throat. They were pumping him with the same chemical cocktail they use for reconditioning. The thick, brown liquid slowly snaked its way down the tubing and Finn grit his teeth preparing for the worst. The chemicals were a closely guarded secret by Hux, who was probably sick enough to add a few pain enhancers to it just to see recalcitrant Storm Troopers scream. The cocktail burned as it entered through a vein on his hand. Finn bit his lip to keep from whimpering as the pain spread like syrup covered with broken glass through his body.

"Impressive." Snoke's voice seemed far away. Finn refused to acknowledge the bastard. "Your loyalty is worthy of praise." His voice echoed off his mental barrier and Finn flinched at the increased volume. "Your friends are mounting an attack, did you know that? Trying to save you but my TIE Fighters are ready."

Finn clenched his broken, needless hand and Snoke tutted, "Friends are worthless creatures, so fleeting. Especially in time of war; how many people have and will die Finn? Especially for you I wonder? Perhaps your friend Poe Dameron will be added to the list of the dead?" Snoke was suddenly behind him, his voice caressing his ear in a falsely welcoming warmth,

"Imagine, Finn, all of them dying in a trap that you helped set up."

Fuck! The computer room! He knew it was too damn easy!

A crack, and that was all it took to begin.

 

* * *

Holy guacamole! Stuff is getting real. Will Finn be able to fight off Snoke long enough to be rescued? Will Finn be able to rescue himself? Or, will Finn buckle and break under Snoke's prowess?

Let me know what you think! :D

Until next time guys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the story finished, not giving away any spoilers but I'm really excited about how this is taking shape. I'm enjoying the positive feedback and kudos and I hope you all enjoy this!  
> On a side note, from now until middle of may I will be very busy getting final preparations done and getting married :) :) But rest assured the story is completed, it's just a matter of posting the chapters.


	4. I Am Your Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are not shaping up the way they should be, with the confirmed death of a friend, Finn's mental state is not as strong as it once was. Guilt is a potent emotion that the dark side will take full advantage of. And Finn knows that most of the time nothing ever goes according to our wishes...

* * *

 

"Who are you?"  
Blinking up at the man before him, the prisoner responded, "I am-" He faltered. He knew it was important, his identity was something he knew as fiercely as he knew his own two hands. His identity was the air to him and he knew this man wanted it for some reason.  
"I am your enemy" He settled on it instead of directly answering. Without a doubt, this man was not his friend, and he could feel that he was not himself, or rather who he should be. His head was fuzzy and his body felt wrung out and overstimulated by constant spikes of pain. A friend would never do this to him, that, he was completely sure of.  
"Are you so sure on that Agent?"  
Agent? He wasn't one, not for this man at least. An older, female face with graying brunette hair came to mind; she was the only one who called him that when on missions. Other faces kept swimming up to him through the murky depths of his mind, faces that he feel he could name if ever the heavy fog would dissipate. He knew them damn it, they had a purpose in his life just like he did to theirs. He was more than just that title the man gave him. He was more than a tool, more than a white-armored clad soldier.  
"I am your enemy" He stated with a solidity that echoed off the familiar room. He may not know his name but that is only part of who he was. Maybe he never had a name- a man's face with unkempt, curly hair flashed before his vision. The curly haired man looked at him, "How about Finn?" came the man's voice as he bit his lip. "It suits you".  
"I am Finn." He felt a certain amount of elation fill his being before insurmountable pain over-rode his body and he screamed.  
"A pity." Came the man's cruel voice, "But we're getting somewhere."

* * *

  
Frank's funeral was much like anyone else's. Short and depressing. By now you'd think everyone would be used to death, and by all accounts they were. However, there was something to be said about a funeral for one pilot. It was more gut wrenching and unexpected; you didn't have to stand as a list of names were read out-letting a detached numbness wash over you like some messed up version of meditation. There was only Frank, a man anyone barely knew.  
At least he went down like most pilots: Fast and alone.  
TIE fighters were waiting for Jess and Frank, already locked unto them as they exited their hyperspace. Frank went down almost immediately, but thank whatever gods there were that Jess was a smart woman and left as soon as she came. They didn't pursue her, but according to her numbers, they were counting on more than two scouters.  
Poe clenched Jessika's hand and she gave as good as she got. They were both present for the debriefing and when they left, they were at odds with several emotions.  
Finn's signature was all over that vital transmission, but it ended up being a trap. Leia was not too keen to further delve into the information fearing much of what they received were nothing more than traps that Finn unwittingly fell into and sent.  
Or.  
There was one outspoken commander who dared suggest that it was Finn's plan all along. Now, generally, Poe was an easy going man and had no quarrels (beyond that phase in his life when he was a womanizer) with anyone. Which shocked everyone in the room, himself included, when he leveled that bastard with an uppercut to his jaw. Poe was sent away after that but Jess and many friends Finn had befriended (and saved) followed shortly after his departure.  
There was no way Finn would betray the Resistance, no way, Poe thought, that Finn would betray him. They were buddies after all. His naivety and genuine delight in the things Poe (or anyone brought up normally) took for granted, left him in awe of a man raised to be a killing machine. There's no way in hell he would fake that. Finn was an honest, genuine, strong-headed and above all; had the biggest heart of anyone Poe knew.  
Finn was not, nor ever will be, their enemy.

* * *

  
His head was fuzzy but nothing like before.  
Opening his eyes, Finn let out a relieved breath. The man was gone. Not forever, but he'd take what he could get.  
“I am Finn” His slurred voice was barely a whisper, his jaw felt broken and his nose stuffed. He forgot why those three words were important but he kept repeating them whenever he could. They may take everything from him but not that, not the one thing that made him something.  
Break his body or his mind but his spirit-Finns spirit was his own.  
Anger unlike anything Finn had ever felt before, swarmed his mind like a nest of bees. Millions of thoughts angrily came together that one thought was indiscernible from the next. Finn tried quelling the anger, but he forgot how to rein in his emotions, he was good at it and hated being angry for no reason, but he felt that he had a damn good reason to be angry, he just didn't know why.  
Moments later a white armored guard came in. Still fuming, Finn waited until he was close enough to wrap his legs around the man and snapped his neck.  
Ignoring the sharp, stabbing pain of broken ribs, Finn maneuvered his legs lower to wrap around the dead man's waist and pull him close. He was going to grab the phaser with his knees and-  
“Although I'm glad to see that implanting martial abilities has worked, I can see that your attitude needs more work than I initially thought.”  
“I am Finn” He stated, glaring as best he could at the man to his right.  
“In a few hours, you will no longer be that insignificant tool. It's time I take this more seriously.” Snoke's unaffected voice carried more force with it and Finn found his mind growing fuzzier as words started to mix together in an eerily calming symphony. All his previous anger was quelled. He felt cocooned in warmth, like a mother's embrace as he listened to her soothing words. After all; his mom knew best until the Resistance killed her...but that didn't seem right.  
Finn tried blinking his heavy lids, he could feel another round of cold medication entering his veins and chose to focus on that.  
“Finn” he slurred out.  
“You are the Agent of the First Order” Came Snoke's smooth reply, “The Resistance is your enemy.”  
Were they? Why? They killed his mom when he was young and Snoke saved him from the same fate, that's why. Yet, that truth inspired no animosity towards his supposed enemy. In truth, he felt numb. His previously riotous emotions were no longer there.  
He was their Agent, the voice kept weaving.  
But he was more than that wasn't he?  
He needed to fight this right?  
...Right...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS! I just may post the fifth one within the next day or two, depending on how busy I'll be.  
> On another note: Poor Finn! Why does the universe have to be so horrible to him? Snoke knows his worth, which is a bad thing....Yeah until next time guys! Thanks for the kudos and I enjoy your comments!


	5. I Am The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really there needs no summary other than: don't kill me! See note at the end!

"Who are you?"  
"I am yours to command sir." Came the dark skinned male's reply. He hated these inane questions that were asked of him, but this was Supreme Leader Snoke, a man he highly regarded. If Snoke asked, you answered. Simple as that.  
"That you are Agent."  
"Orders sir?"  
"None yet, I or Kylo Ren will summon you when ready."  
"Understood."  
With the okay from the medical staff and the dismissal from Supreme leader Snoke, Agent left for the training field where his team was sure to be. He wanted to get back in the fight and prove to the Supreme Leader that he was worthy of his trust. The Resistance will not know what will hit it now that he is out of his coma.

With a solemn vow he opened the training doors to see his team already pulverizing through a simulation.There was one simple truth in the galaxy now that he was back:  
It will be a dark time for the Resistance indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, at first I was planning on ending it on this very morose note, but a friend of mine said she'd shiv me if I didn't resolve this story to a happy ending...So with the threat of that, I am going to add a part two for you all to watch out for, unless you want me to leave it like this? ;)  
> Anyways the second part will be a WIP and by no means complete so you must take that as you may and the title will be: All Woods Must Fail. Let me know what you think of this ending!


End file.
